


New In Town

by petrodobreva



Series: To cut a long story short [3]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Ficlet, Future Fic, M/M, Prompt Fill, upward social comparisons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-18 13:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29369172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petrodobreva/pseuds/petrodobreva
Summary: Prompt fill for spiffymittens: A hotter, more fashionable guy moves to Schitt's Creek and David doesn't handle it well.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Series: To cut a long story short [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2059584
Comments: 30
Kudos: 116





	New In Town

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spiffymittens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiffymittens/gifts).



“Thank you for stopping by, we hope you’ll visit us again soon.”

“Oh yeah. Well, I just moved here so I bet I will.”

“Oh! Well, welcome! When did you arrive?”

“Just a couple days ago. I got a place on Elm.”

“Elm Street or Elm Road?”

The customer laughs. “You know, I’m not actually sure?”

Patrick laughs with him. “Ah, you get used to it.”

The bell dings as the customer exits, and a gust of air on Patrick’s back alerts him to David’s return from his hiding place.

“What. The _fuck_?”

Patrick turns and leans back against the counter. “What’s wrong, David?” he asks, knowing the answer full well.

“Who _was_ that?”

“New customer. New neighbor.”

“If it turns out he lives on Elm Road, so help me god, we have to move.”

A grin bubbles up in Patrick’s chest and he takes a deep breath to try and maintain a neutral expression. “Why is that? There’s nothing about him that I could tell that breaks any of your rules. He’s a copy writer for a health company, so he probably doesn’t work for Cirque du Soleil, he just bought our body wash and cologne so he’s probably going to smell acceptable, and none of the hobbies he listed include playing any brass or woodwind instruments.”

David mumbles something under his breath.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that.” Patrick did, he did catch that.

“He could still be a member of an improv troupe, we don’t know!”

“Fortunately, improv isn’t a very loud hobby, so I’m sure you would only have to put up with it during public events.”

David grumbles and walks over to the cluster of aftershave and fiddles with their display. Patrick lets him avoid the topic for a whole ten seconds.

“Come on, David. I thought you would be excited. You’re always talking about how much you hate the way everybody dresses in this town. I thought you would appreciate the arrival of a..uh..kindred spirit.”

David clenches his jaw.

Patrick continues. “Didn’t you once tell me that if you could, you would burn the new Forever 21 in Elmdale to the ground?”

“I stand by that.” David thunks a bottle back down onto the display dresser. He puts his hands on his hips and stares out the window. “He was in head-to-toe _Dior_ , Patrick! From _this year_.”

Patrick swallows. “Really?”

“What is he even doing here?” David’s voice is small. “This is Schitt’s Creek. Nobody moves to Schitt’s Creek.”

Patrick’s boots make a definitive thudding sound as they carry him toward David, where he wraps his arms around his husband’s waist. “Maybe he’s a former New York City socialite whose family recently lost everything due to the dirty practices of their business manager and he heard this place is nice to people like that.”

David snorts. “I highly doubt his arrival has anything to do with me.”

Patrick just hums and digs his chin into David’s shoulder. They stare out the window for a while. Patrick is also curious about the arrival of the Timothee Chalamet lookalike walking around, but he doesn’t wonder aloud.

“I mean, it’s ridiculous. He’s basically me but ten years younger. What kind of cruel trick is the universe playing on me?”

It’s probably more like a twenty-year age gap, but Patrick doesn’t correct him. “Come on, David. You look nothing alike.”

“Well, now you’re just being mean.”

“I just mean, he doesn’t doesn’t have the eyebrows.” Patrick leans back to point at them. “Those are not easy to compete with.”

David reaches up to touch them self-consciously. “Really? That’s all you’ve got?”

Patrick follows David’s fingers with his lips. “They’re no small thing, David.”

It takes a moment for that one to land. When it does, Patrick is already out of sight, fetching a box from the backroom for restocks.

“Hey!”


End file.
